In the World of Dyslexia
"What is your biggest dream?" kids were asked on the stage during the kindergarten send-off concert. Kids answered: I want a set of Lego Ninjago, I wanna be a president, I want to go to Disneyland,etc. My son's answer was "I want my mummy to be happy". That was a special moment of happiness and family unity for me.
Three months later my son, Rojus, started the 1st grade. Almost instantly, my husband and me noticed how much Rojus has changed: he lost his appetite, he didn't sleep well, he didn't want to talk or do anything related with school and homework, he started complaining that a few kids were bullying him. Every time I asked him to read a book or to do a written assignment, we ended up in tears. I felt guilty for pushing on him too much. I knew he was a smart kid, he could remember almost all the facts from the encyclopedia I was reading to him; he could learn poems by heart if he liked them. He also knew all the alphabet letters at 4. And I couldn't understand why he doesn't read and write as other kids of his age do. I did thought he was lazy, not motivated and pretending he was not able to. Everybody can read, can't they?
Finally we decided to visit a psychiatrist to find out what was wrong with our son. He diagnosed dyslexia - a reading disorder that could also affect writing ability. Even provided with the diagnosis and respective recommendations Rojus’ teacher at school still thought he was just lazy, because Rojus demonstrated his above-average IQ in all the areas except reading and writing. It is such a heartbreaking experience to take your child from school every day and see the pain, shame, guilt and frustration on his face. Can you imagine what it feels to be in the shoes of this kid? Can you imagine, statistically there could be 2 out of 10 kids in each class having this kind of learning difficulties?
The photography is a space where we can ignore dyslexia. It is our secret place where my son and I exist only. It is my way to express my regrets and the guilt of being too harsh on him. It is the tears we have left behind. It is a space where I learned to accept the difficulties my son has. My dearest smartest boy, even if you never read these words I will never stop repeating: "My biggest dream is to see you happy, son!"