I am Bastian!
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A Letter from Bastians Mother:
16 years ago my son Bastian was born.
The atmosphere in the delivery room was suddenly totally oppressive ,heavy and somehow even horrible .... forbidden. As if something had happened which must not be .
Bastian has Down's syndrome and within seconds the illusion of the "perfect child" for me is shattered. Most parents take longer to lose this illusion, some never make it , no matter how old "the child" is.
It was just as if he was stillborn. And with him my dream of my "perfect" life in the future died, too.
I wanted to "get Bastian as normal" as possible and so I sucked up and did everything there was to support him. It is now "through support so many things are possible" with these children! I could puke today over this saying!
Bastian is no longer a "catastrophe" for me. And in the beginning he was exactly that for me. I love him so much. He's so precious to me. With everything he can and can't do!
I find his being so enriching.
He just lives in the moment! He can't be pulled away into a future that isn't there or he hardly hangs in a past that is over. If you ask him if he likes one or the other better, if he would like to do one or the other, both are always equally good for him. Whatever is there at that moment, he accepts without questioning and is simply happy to be.
And he can immerse himself in other worlds, gives himself full of trust in the worlds of the people he likes and loves and feels what they need.
It is a great pain and sadness in me that he cannot lead a "normal" life (whatever that is supposed to be). And still some pressure that I would have to change something about him through me. And there is a lot of guilt involved, not wanting to be to blame for ...
It is again and again these fears for the future. Fear that he can't lead a full life without friends, a job, independence...
Actually, I don't know if I would like to take care of him for the rest of my life or maybe I don't have to worry as much because he lives in the dormitory and does his own thing.