Isolation is not my friend. In fact, it’s one of my biggest nightmares. Some people thrive in isolation. But for me, it feels like the walls are closing in. I know that I’m fortunate for where I am during this quarantine. I have a safe apartment in a beautiful neighbourhood. But facing my daily thoughts and emotions in the confines of a 600 square foot space in solitude is overwhelming, to say the least.
When COVID-19 shut down everything in mid-March, I lost all of my upcoming work and events indefinitely. The sudden hard stop to life quickly became an emotional roller coaster of good days, bad days, and very bad days.
To make a long story short, a few years ago at my former full-time job, I was trapped in a confined space for an extended period of time against my will. What resulted was a diagnosis of PTSD and claustrophobia and many hard months of healing. I learned how to deal with the trauma then, but the shutdown unexpectedly triggered my PTSD. Flashbacks, nightmares and anxiety became unwelcome daily visitors once more. I was trapped again.
I never want anyone to feel as alone as I felt a few years ago. I knew if I was starting to feel that way again, there was no way I was the only one experiencing these emotions. I decided to turn the camera on myself this time and document it all. This is my journey through 2020’s isolation and social distancing so far.