In this series I play the part of a well-known female musician who gets more and more depressed because she is actually living a life of loneliness on tour. At first she gets angry outbursts, later on she medicates herself with alcohol and drugs which only leads to serious suicidal thoughts.
The pictures are part of a bigger series photographed between 2017 und 2019 (ongoing) in different cities that are well-know for celebrities like Paris, Venice, Milano, Rome, Cannes, Nizza. Hotelrooms play a special role in the life of musicians, not only as anonymous, kind of lawless places, but also as rooms where life at a very different pace than the average takes place, which alienates them very fast from ordinary people.
The hotelroom I chose are of turn-of-the-century or baroque or Art Nouveau interior to underline that the person in the pictures is decaying mentally, has "her best days behind her" and is soon going to die.
To demonstrate this I shot the whole series with an old professional Polaroid Land Camera Folding Camera that was build in the 60s and uses a type of film (packfilm) which is discontinued for a couple of years now and won't be manufactured again. So this type of photography will die sooner oder later.
The series also askes questions about (successful) women who are also addicts. Looking at Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Courtney Love for example there is still a huge stigma in society about this issue. While a woman who abuses drugs are alcohol is laughed about or even worse damned as stupid and uncapable to handle her life and problems, a man because a genious or saint like figure in the public eye (for example Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison).
