We are born with a body. This body is our own. It is through this body that we experience the world, through which our identity is built and through which we discover our soul. When we are born, it is as if there are limitless possibilities for the directions our lives can take. Each day we live, the options become less, the possibilities fewer and fewer, narrowing with unimaginable precision the paths we find ourselves walking. There are moments in our lives that shape us, forcing us to chose a side in a fork in the road that we never even knew existed. There are moments in our lives that mold us. Moments where we separate from our bodies, float above ourselves and observe as we realize our lives have been changed forever. Our bodies have been changed forever. Our souls have been changed forever. There are people in our lives that take things. There are people that take things from our bodies and from our souls. Suddenly we realize we are traveling down a road we do not recognize in a body that has been claimed and invaded. It is easy to get lost in a body we feel is no longer under our control.
Depression is a lonely, isolating and disorienting disease. It is widely misunderstood and stigmatized, making living with depression and emotional trauma even more difficult. My series "this body" is a visual representation of the disconnection between body, mind and soul that leaves those suffering from depression trapped in a body and a mind that become unrecognizable. It is a story of lost control, lost understanding, and the constant balance between healing and self destruction.
"this body" is the result of my need to explore my own experience of living with depression and emotional health. I use self-portraiture to connect to the most personal and guarded spaces of my heart. I use photography, surrealism and layers of encaustic wax to communicate the sometimes unimaginable and indescribable realities of life and depression. The work speaks to a strange familiarity of pain, loneliness and humanity.
