In search of femininity

Since childhood, I have heard the phrase “you’re a girl!”. As I got older, the phrase began to sound differently "you are not feminine." As I grew older, my opinion about what is femininity changed. At first it seemed that to be feminine, you have to put on a lot of makeup on your face, wear dresses, walk with your hair down. Then this opinion was transformed into the fact that the girl who gave birth to the child is feminine. I grew up in a patriarchal family, where certain requirements were imposed on a girl / woman: to run a household, to be beautiful, to inspire, to be obedient, not to contradict my father or husband, not to load with bad mood and problems, hide my emotions, get married, have children, be gentle, smooth in movements, calm, do not stand out, wear dresses and bras with push-up, And so I grew up, but the understanding of what is femininity never came. My assemblages are a search for an answer, a rethinking of clichés and patterns that were laid from an early age. I dress up my cut-out self-portraits like paper dolls in my childhood, attach long hair, put on makeup, dress in "feminine".