When my first son, Nathan, was born almost 30 years ago, my father told me to remember that we don’t own our children, but rather that they have been gifted to us on loan – to look after and care for. My father didn’t always give the best advice, and in many ways, he wasn’t the best example of fatherhood, but that thought he gave me stuck with me.
The idea of having a child on loan makes you somehow value the time you have with them more. It focuses your mind and instils a sense of urgency. For a relatively short period of time, you have the opportunity to influence, teach and build values that hopefully eventually releases them to become and accept and love who they are. There is no silver bullet for parenthood, and for most of us, it’s a steep learning curve, full of embarrassing mistakes.
As they grow out of toddlerhood and into their ‘tweenies’, life becomes easier for a while. Then they hit teenage and the tables start to turn as they become adults and start to develop their own unique identities. The cross over from childhood to adulthood has always fascinated me and for each of my 4 children, it’s been a different and inspiring journey – not without turbulenc