Kitty Quinzell - Emotions
Words by Kitty Quinzell:
As a model I've always found to get across themes and concept to people, its best to become what I do, so the moods I'm in, the characters I play - in the moment they feel very real to me. I imagine myself in scenarios or bring back memories ..
Sometimes when I do this and the concept is quite a serious one, the emotions or memory will take over and I will go into my phase mode. It's a point at which I no longer think about what I do and I just go with it, allow myself to feel it and I get my most believable pictures...If people can't feel something when they look at your pictures, what does it achieve?
I had something quite bad happen to me a few years ago, it was on a shoot and my boundaries were seriously overstepped - I froze up and let it happen because quite honestly I didn't feel safe and felt that I would do whatever I had to in order to get back on the train home and away from the nightmare. The experience didn't stop me modelling, it made me more cautious ..
I worked through it, ... I felt shame at putting myself into a situation where I could be taken advantage of, so much so I couldn't even tell my best friend. I actually still can't... Anyway having got over it doesn't mean it doesn't still affect me. Some words and certain things trigger memories which cause me to have panic attacks, tears or both.
In my recent shoot with Andy Green we took some very raw portraits using a a reflective surface. I found it quite therapeutic, staring at myself for so long; it felt like I could look inside myself. I pulled out the sadness, the grief and the pain and I put it into the reflection, into the pictures - the emotion you see is very real. But after the shots were taken I felt that I left that part of me there, where it couldn't hurt me.
Everybody needs some form of art in their life so they can really express themselves, somewhere to get rid of the demons and let their imagination free. For me this is it and who I am ..