SAYING GOODBYE

After several years of managing her care (given multiple health challenges), I brought my Mom home on hospice in early February of 2014. We were told she had only 3 to 6 months to live, but with the amazing love and help of both extraordinary hospice staff and caregivers, she was blessed to have 13 months instead....time badly needed to come to terms with the fact that she was dying, and to reconcile the unfinished business of her life. It was my greatest hope and goal that she would find within herself a peace and forgiveness during the last months of her life, so that when it was time she could leave without fear. Caring for my mom during her hospice was the most difficult and stressful challenge I've ever faced. As a photographer I found comfort and sanity in documenting the last weeks of her journey here on earth through the photos you see here.....as well as many, many others. For the most part she was bed-bound having been unable to bear weight for months and not able to tolerate being moved by hoyer, so all of these photos were by necessity taken while she was in bed. In part my motivation for taking many of these photographs was to help her recognize the people in her daily life as she suffered not only severe short term memory loss, but a dementia that grew worse by the day. I added photos of caregivers, friends, family members and hospice staff to a 3 ring binder that she never failed to delight in, looking through it on a daily basis. She was and had always been the greatest fan and supporter of my photography. She encouraged me from an early age after seeing a series of black and white portraits I did of our immediate family members....photos which she hung in what became known as "the hallway gallery" and which remained there until after her death and the sale of her home. Later I realized that for me it was also a compulsion born of grief, a desperate attempt to hold onto her and every precious moment left of her life. Death is never easy for human beings, but it's my hope that in these photos others will see the beauty, lightness of heart, and incredible love that can be and hopefully is a part of that final journey we all must face one day.