In Retrospect

The photograph as a representation of time and subject, constantly reminds me of the moment when the shutter is pressed, and the fact that the particular moment depicted has already passed. The depicted relationship may have changed; the photographed people may be gone; the documented place may be far away. Motivated to emphasize the nostalgia and a longing for an idealized illusion of the past, I create scenes that visualize the emotions and conflicts associated with the loss for certain people and days. I print my own photographs which depict significant personal moments in life size and use them to build believable spaces. Then I photograph myself posing in front of these prints, interacting with the people depicted in the prints, as if I am re-living that moment, or living in that relationship again, or doing something that I wish I had done. However, while I am constructing, the visual flaws and cracks keep showing and breaking the illusion at the same time. In this unrealized gesture through recreation, the sense of loss, the growing distance and the genuine desire has been captured at the moment when I photographed myself interacting with the illusion casted by the person in a photographic print.