I admit

Getting old isn't that easy for me. This may sound ridiculous or trivial but it isn't for me. I struggle with the fact that my body doesn't look like, doesn't perform like when I was young. In fact, I hate it. But that's the way it is, right? Everybody gets old. So do I and I have to deal with it. In June I found myself thinking a lot about it. And I saw this parking garage with this one big light. This scenario is exactly like I feel. Sitting in the dark and a big bright past attracting me, which I'm longing to, but never can reach. To realize, that my image of the past and the one from today isn't the same anymore, is quite a big challenge for me. So I got my camera and took those photos. And it's really hard for me to see myself in these photos. First I saw the photos I was embarrassed, ashamed, a bit shocked. The image of myself is not how I feel inside. Is not how I think about myself. How I want to see myself. It felt unreal. But it's real and it's me. With all the changes, with all the inperfections. And what choice do I have? So I’m starting to learn to love myself. I admit, I’m getting old.