I've Learned To Hold Myself Softly

I began documenting my hometown of Syracuse in November 2022. When I traveled back to places of importance during my "coming of age" years, I realized many places of both solace and nostalgia have been demolished or abandoned. Returning as an adult - confronted with the same scene for decades - also allowed me to reexamine myself, interconnectedness with the people around me, and the sense of home. Using Syracuse as my muse, a familiar landscape demonstrates a feeling of nostalgia and longing. In this work, I reveal moments of individuality and selfhood that indicate the contradictions of connection and belonging within systems that simultaneously contain and embody us. I utilize self-portraiture, still-lives, and architecture that is specific to Syracuse, and symbolism depicting bodies, ritual, and sensuality, which in turn uses nonverbal communication as a way to emphasize tradition. Red, black, and white are consistent colors throughout the work as a representation of the Lenape Tribe. Each beaded image contains one blue bead, historically known as a “spirit bead” in indigenous beadwork, utilized as an act of recognition to my maternal grandfather.