Amor Sui

The project was inspired by a random conversation I had with friends about self-love. We had discussions about what would happen if you make-out with yourself in front of the mirror and if you would actually do it or not. The answers started out funny. Some thought of it as a fun idea, others said that it was gross. Then the discussion evolved and went to the various different layers of love and self-love. Amor Sui (latin for Self-love) is something that a lot of us should be more aware and connected to. Especially in these times of chaos, misunderstandings and atrocities worldwide, taking a pause and making an internal realization about how and why you love yourself can make a big difference. I decided to start a portrait project of people making love with themselves in front of the mirror. I have no idea what to expect. I started using a small 11.5” x 11.5” square Ikea mirror with my subjects’ faces. I gave them the freedom to express their “self-love” in their own way as I surreptitiously find angles and photograph them as if I am not there. Most of the shoots are done at my home studio. Sometimes I shoot at my subject’s houses. I shoot with my old Nikon D7000 with one light to create that very intimate high contrast dramatic effect. I rarely do crazy post-processing on the images because I want to keep the raw and authentic feel to them. Sometimes I would zoom in real close to get a focus of specific body parts. I intend the project to be a continuous portrait project. I plan to do an exhibition out of this and possibly publish a series of books as well, granted that I get the proper funding. This has been such an intimate learning experience for me and all of my subjects. The readings, the interpretations, and the layers of meanings that we discover upon each session are golden. For instance, we observed that girls are more comfortable doing this to themselves than guys. Also, some people pointed out that it makes them feel uncomfortable (looking at themselves in front of the mirror) because for them, you don’t really look at your eyes directly when you look to the mirror on a day to day basis. You normally look at your hair, your face, your clothes, your body, etc but rarely through your eyes. There is also a layer of homophobia that came out. Some people that I approached for the project became hesitant because they don’t want to look “gay.” As I get more people volunteering to be a part of it, I get more interesting commentaries about the project. For some, this project runs along the same vein as narcissism. So the challenge for me is to just start testing and keep photographing people and capture them in such ways and angles that shows them in their own state of “self-love.” There is really no specific formula and on every session, for every subject, there is always something fresh, there is always something different to discover not just from my subjects but also from myself. “It’s like a selfie, but it’s not. It’s like you’re doing a very dark anti-selfie project” remarked a friend. The visuals just emerge and unfold as the shoot happens, that’s the beauty and the magic of this project. My subjects would touch their faces and body parts in ways that can be photographed as if there are two different people making out. As for the subjects I observed that for the most part it requires a certain level of courage to actually face and make-out with yourself in front of the mirror. Whenever I give directions to my subjects I always make sure that I give them freedom; the freedom to interpret the “making-out/making-love to yourself” part however they feel like it and that they should just go with the flow and just let go. It is a very liberating and intimate project. You can view more photos from the series here: http://www.graphicsmetropolis.com/gallery/selflove/ More info: graphicsmetropolis.com