I Do Not Want To Become My Mother

My project “I do not want to become my mother” is a deeply personal exploration of my complex relationship with my mom, shaped by the societal expectations and limitations placed on women in my culture, which was largely based on toxic patriarchy. She was expected to prioritise her role as a mother and caregiver, suppressing her own artistic aspirations and political views. From a young age I witnessed it all culminating in a debilitating depression that made me fear I'd follow a similar path. Using archival family photos, vintage magazines, and performative self- portraiture, I constructed this subconscious reality: seeing life through my child-self while imagining what my mother actually felt and experienced. We spend our childhood watching our moms, soaking in how she thinks, how she feels, how she behaves and does things, and particularly how she feels about herself. With this project, I revisit memories that appeared normal and mundane, when circumstances were not. By involving my mom in the process, I look at the complexities of our bond and how our experiences are intertwined. Even though this project speaks about my personal experience, it is also universal, so many women often catch themselves saying “Oh no! I sounded just like mother". I use humour, satire and dramatisation as means to expose something much more poignant in our society. I recently completed the Folio programme by PHmuseum on bookmaking. These images are diptychs that I selected out of the book I created.