Crisis of Experience

In February 1979 I began taking Polaroid SX70 self-portraits on a daily basis to explore the idea of time as connected to a lunar month but also to find a way to stay grounded as much of my life was imploding. Months turned into years and I continued the daily documentation of self for eight years, until mid-1987 generating about 3000 photographs. Spontaneously deciding when and where to take the photo, what exposure and focus to use allowed me to use randomness and chance in my creative process. I was searching for the intuitive. My interest in the moon began when I wanted to present the Polaroids using a standard unit of time and I chose a lunar month. The Polaroid series was a visual journal waiting to be decrypted as if I was looking into a mirror, seeking to understand who I was, who I was becoming, and attempting to make sense of life experiences out of my control. And as we all know, the camera never lies, and now looking back at this documentation I begin to understand what is revealed. Throughout history women have found journals a sympathetic medium. I was looking to define myself at a time when the feminist revolution had already won many new freedoms (and choices) for women.  Looking back, I realize that I was exploring the politics of identity--and not just gender Identity-- and deciphering who I was in relation to photography.  The reconsideration of this project, now with the patina of time, allows for a deeper understanding of self and a legacy of the Polaroid medium that can never be replicated