Empty Spaces

When I was a child I saw the same dream over and over. I'm looking for my house, but I can’t find it. All the houses look alike. So I’m thinking that this search can last forever. And I’m afraid. Nobody is around. Only the emptiness. I’m alone. When you live in a big city you are often thinking that this place isn’t yours. We’re looking for some place which we can call – home, my home. In the process the new type of person is being formed. The person who loves and hates the city at the same time. I see the city as something independent, living and nonliving at the same time, like artificial intelligence. It attracts, fascinates. Besides, it is void, if it’s without people. Sometimes we feel the same emptiness inside. We want to fill it, but we are wrong, and we fill the empty spaces outside. We fill apartments, houses, cars, neighborhoods, cities and so on. And we begin to understand, that all our accomplishments are an illusion, and material goods – imaginary. We feel very lonely ourselves. And just then we start to think that we are in the wrong place. At the same time a question appears: “Why do I live”. So it's a positive thing, because at this moment comes the spiritual growth.