Aphasia

ongoing series ‘Aphasia’ (2021): Early 2020 I was affected by a cerebral infarction. My world turned upside down, I wanted to scream and shout but I couldn’t. There were no words; aphasia had its grip on me. Especially in the early period of this language disorder there often came a totally different word out of my mouth than what I intended. A ’stroopwafel’ became a ‘sprooktafel’ ; I had never thought I would stumble over such a very dutch cookie. As if in Alice in Wonderland you very fairytale-like take a bite and the world suddenly doesn’t seem to be als logical as it was before. That you are no longer in control, that things just happen. And just like in the world of Alice I recognize the transformation of everything that matters: size, logic, values, meaning, all the things that stand firm. Since nothing is no longer what it used to be, perhaps reshuffling is the thing to do; the way to get a grip on what is happening and to synchronize it with my own new ordening. And although I frequently struggle against loosing regularity, order, insight, I think this is the only way for me: to continue until eventually a new natural order unfolds.