If I knew then what I know now

This body of work focuses on my deeply personal experience of growing up in foster care in the United Kingdom in the 1990s and early 2000s. Through this photographic series that consists of archival photographs and materials, government records, and newly made images, I am bringing the viewer on my journey of reconciliation and growth. To grow up in foster care is to be raised in a deep sense of loss and grief, often anxiety and fear, and profound longing for something you may never have known – familial connection. When your life is dictated by so many authority figures including state regulations passed by unknown judges, members of parliament, local council workers, social workers, and foster families, there is a pervasive lack of autonomy, freedom, and choice. To express oneself in foster care or after it becomes a radical act, an assertion of personal sovereignty when you are expected to be compliant and grateful. Growing up in the system impacts every aspect of later life for those in care, from education and work, to future friendships and relationships. It is not small, though we are told to be small. Being in foster care is not insignificant. We are not insignificant.